Waiting.

I believe that the worst part of being a professional musician is having to audition. It's like having job interviews all the time. You're nervous. You worry about what to wear. Will I remember the words? Are they going to let me finish? Will they hear everything I've prepared? Is my leg going to shake again this time?

Okay...I guess you can figure out now that auditioning is not my favorite thing. I get about 75% of my work through a recommendation or word of mouth now, but I still have to go out and do auditions. As I've gotten more experienced, I am less traumatized by this process and I now perform better, but there's one thing that hasn't gotten easier...

...waiting for a result.

A few weeks ago, I auditioned for something and I felt as though I did the best possible job I could have done. I felt really good about it for the first time I can remember. I had to do a second audition for the same gig, which I suppose I was okay with. I did well then too, although I didn't feel as strong as I did the previous time. Now, all I have to do is wait. Waiting can be really crazy-making.

If the gig means a lot to you, you imagine yourself with the gig and you get all excited. You start dreaming of outfits you would wear (if you can choose your own) and you start shopping online. You contemplate how you're going to pay for your new piece of clothing for this fabulous gig. (I admit to having picked out this and this.)

Then, you imagine someone else with the gig and you start to second guess yourself. You start to ask yourself questions that don't even apply yet! "Why didn't I get chosen? What's wrong with my voice? Is it a looks thing? Who am I competing with even? Did that girl that sang before me do better?"


The truth is you're actually competing (usually) with yourself. Learning to stop comparing your own voice to others' is one of the most difficult parts of being a singer.

It's enough to make anyone a little insane. I am still waiting. I am dangerously close to asking when I should expect a result announcement, but part of me still wants to hold on to the possibility. The fantasy that until I've gotten a rejection, I've still possibly got the gig. I guess the fantasy has to end sometime though, right?

I am back, baby!!!

Hey Ladies! I have been neglecting my blog while I've been recovering. I am happy to report I am doing much better these days. At my sickest, I was down to a scary 83lbs! It was the worst ever! Now, I'm back up above 90 again and I'm feeling more like myself. My tummy is still a little temperamental (not sure if it's psychosomatic or something is actually up), but I'm learning to live with it.

It seems like if you get sick and you get better, everything in your life suddenly improves! I have begun to get very busy with gigs this season. It's quite exciting! I even have two concerts on the same day, which means a day full of happy! I can't complain! So in honor of healing and gigging, I have changed up the blog template and bought a cute little domain for her. StylishSoprano.com

I'll mostly post about the same things here and there will be cute pictures of clothes too, as soon as I have something cute to photograph on. I must confess, I've been shopping significantly less and I've fallen off the bandwagon a little, but I'm back full-force now. Have an awesome day ladies!

(BTW, please check out my podcast if you haven't before! I promise you'll enjoy the week's episode with Bryson Lang! Just click play on the BlogTalkRadio sidebar widget)

OOTD: 1952 Skirt

Here's a quickie post! My outfit of the day: 2010's 1952 skirt (I've rolled up the waistband to make it work for a petite) and a simple bell-sleeved white blouse from The Limited (circa 2002). Look better than I feel this morning!

I'm having an endoscopy on Tuesday morning, so I'm a tad freaked out. Hopefully, this will lead to some answers as to why I have no appetite. Wish me luck!

Catching up!

Remember me!? I'm so sorry for being so behind on posting! Thanks for hanging in there, ladies! Needless to say, there's a lot to catch up on. But first...here's an outfit!

Blouse: Anthropologie Vanilla Bean Blouse 2010, Jeans: JCrew

I wore this to my friend's Madrigals and Beverages Party, which is just as nerdy as it sounds. Bunch of musicians get together, drink wine and sight-read four part Renaissance English Madrigals together. Don't judge, it was hella fun. This was pre- Helios Early Opera rehearsal process time. We put on a GREAT show in January! David et Jonathas was a success for this young opera company.

Cast photo - Photobombed by our Stage Director!!

The Boston Pheonix really liked us! I actually met Mr. Schwartz in the line last weekend to see another opera. He was super nice! I was so honored to be a part of such a neat production with a wildly talented cast. Unlike the last opera I was in, I sang A LOT. Unfortunately, the second day of Tech Week, I was stricken with norovirus. We opened 4 days later and I was okay to perform then, but I really have not been right since. Which leads me to...

...why I've been away. I've been pretty sick. Since getting sick last month, I never really recovered all the way. I lost nearly 18 pounds from my appetite being next to nothing. I was just under 110lbs to begin with, so you can imagine how thin I've gotten. So, I have not been motivated to photograph myself, understandably.  I am scheduled to see a gastroenterologist next week to hopefully get some answers, but that's a long story short. So, THAT'S why I've been away from my blog, quite frankly. I've wanted to go to Anthro and do some reviews for you, but sadly, nothing will fit appropriately right now and I'm afraid the reviews won't be very helpful. Until I get back to a healthy weight, I probably won't be posting any reviews. I may find the courage to post some OOTDs if I feel like I don't look too unhealthy.

I've been keeping up with all of you ladies in the bloggyland! Loving some of the new Anthro Dresses! Especially...

Burgeoning Hypericum Dress

OH...I die. Yes, it's the same shape Girls from Savoy tends to go for, but the pattern is...like, whoa. I need this dress in my life. This may be a rare full-price purchase. Which new arrivals are your faves this season?

Memorizing French in a Hurry (or Cramming for Singers)

I have always had a strange ability to "get it together" for a performance often the week or day before I have to be on stage. When I was in graduate school, I was totally a mess at a dress rehearsal the day before the concert. I had NOT memorized the German for the recital in which I was to sing two songs. The next day, I performed perfectly and my coach laughed at me afterwards and asked; "How do you always do that?!"

The answer is perhaps I work best under pressure, but for some reason, I'm always a a tad forgetful until the day of the performance and then I can rock it out. My goal is to stop having this happen because it completely stresses me out. I got a score for the opera I'm starting rehearsals for next week about a month ago and we were asked to be off-book by next week. Needless to say, I've been cramming my brain with music...and FRENCH.

I don't know what it is with French, but it seems to be a bit slippery. I'll remember certain words and forget others. I'll forget which words elide with each other and which consonants are silent. So, I've taken to odd memorization methods.

• Read and re-read the text in rhythm over and over again: Seems okay until you look away from the music.
• Recording myself singing the lines: This helps because I sing harmony a lot. Sometimes a little humbling. I'm flat, I'm sharp, that word was wrong, etc. On the good side, I'll usually stop making the mistake once I hear myself making it.
• Write the text on a piece of paper and stare at it: Seems to work a little since my own handwriting helps with the memorization.
• Do a dramatic reading of the text followed by a dramatic reading of the English translation: Seems to help me get to where I want to go, but makes me feel silly and should only be done in private.
•  Pray - en français

I'm pretty sure I'm driving my husband crazy singing the same music over and over again, but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel with the opera. I have a couple more scenes to study and I'll be ready to start staging. I'm very excited! It's my first french baroque opera and I'm completely stoked to be all Frenchy and do sweet frenchy trills. Charpentier is amazing and David et Jonathas is a great story.

Enjoy Patricia Petibon singing Jonathan's aria from the opera. I love, love, love Patricia Petibon. I have a huge soprano, girl-crush on her.

Gorgeous, isn't it? In the words of Rachel Zoe; "I die, OMG, I die."

Anyway, last night I was so excited to wear my new dress.

Anthropologie: Alary Dress (2011), Anthropologie Elk Camp Wedge Boots (2010?)

What are you ladies up to this weekend? I am attending a party tonight but I have to go to bed on the early side because I have to sing in the morning tomorrow. Boo!!