The bottom line is that the last few days, along with being harrowing, have made us turn the lens on ourselves and our habits as well. Obsessively stalking a piece of clothing, calling multiple stores to find it, or hiring someone to find it for us...it seems a little left of center. And how are we all nice, sweet and complimentary to each other all the time? Constructive criticism can be helpful and the way we view ourselves is different than the way others view us. I always tell my voice students to bring an audio recorder with them to their lessons. The way that you hear your voice is from the inside and it sounds completely different from the outside.
I know that I have been re-thinking the way that I shop for the last few months. Frankly speaking, I live in an expensive city and don't have tons of expendable income to spend of frilly clothes. Plus, I need Nintendo games too. And dammit, they're expensive!!
All that aside, I like this little community. It's a break from the stress of my every day life. So...here's an outfit.
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| Anthropologie Verdant Slipdress, Banana Republic Petites Cardigan, Payless Sandals |
Just a side note: Many of you know that Kim was on my Blog Talk Radio Show about two weeks ago. We are very saddened by the development of all of the drama involving her Personal Shopping Service. We have been discussing it and we are very sad and sorry for all of the ladies who got their money taken and we hope that Kim gets the help she so desperately needs. I have published a post about it on my show blog here and we will mention it on the air when we go live Saturday night. If you would like to participate in our discussion, you are more than welcome to do so, but I also don't want to beat a dead horse either. I know some ladies have been in touch with me and wish to talk. Let's see how we are all feeling Saturday, shall we? Until then, wear some pretties for me, ok?
I was actually planning on something pretty today, maybe I will get around to taking a picture :) The dress is adorable on you Kay, and what is this? You play games too? I met my husband through a video game forum! What type do you play?
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly on the drama, Kay. It's quite disillusioning! You look beautiful today in that Verdant slip dress! And Luke's a gamer (and I play WoW with him sometimes) so I understand the need for games, lol! They're important! :D
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed a very sad situation. I love your comparison of lifting up a pretty rock to find maggots.
ReplyDeleteYour dress, however, is gorgeous. It's great that you were able to find it, and I just love how you chose a pink-ish cardigan to go with it. I will have to try that next time!
Kay, I love your new blog layout. You are so right. We are all a little obsessed with our selves, Anthro, and sometimes each other. Some of us can afford it more than others. That doesn't make it right. I'm sad for Kim. I'm also mad that she didn't keep her promise to not blog until all her clients were paid. I never used her service. Rarely do I spend time looking for the one that got away. We are all just friends here after the same interest. The Mint Green Verdant is lovely on you. Very Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI actually didn't participate in the Radio Show. But I did see one that you did a months ago. Will have to check in Saturday.
JG, thanks! I love the pink and mint combo too. Very twee!
ReplyDeleteMandy, it IS very disillusioning. I am thinking about a segment about shopaholism and good shopping and budgeting habits for the show this weekend! I think it will be a good time to address it!
ReplyDeleteAnd DUDE...games are important! I'm SO excited to pre-order the new Zelda and Harvest Moon games...boy I'm a nerd.
Thanks, Jess! And yes, I have been kind of a Nintendo fangirl ever since I was like 11 when I finally got an NES.I have had nearly every console they made ever since. I am obsessed with the Zelda franchise, Rune Factory/Harvest Moon and Super Smash Bros. My hubby and my best friend and I have a longstanding tournament with Smash and last week I actually CRIED over a loss. LMAO! SERIOUS BIZNATCH!
ReplyDeleteThat is SO AWESOME that you and your hubs met through a videogame forum! I LOVE IT!!! What games do you guys love?
did you say Harvest Moon?! you just shot right up to the top 5 coolest bloggers on my list :D .I go crazy over those games! I have one for Wii, my PSP (Back To Nature which is my fave), and a couple more for my Game cube. love them.
ReplyDeleteOoh. I just delurked. :)
I'm glad you wrote about this. I'm especially glad to see you actually address the constructive criticism aspect of this. I read this comment on GOMI, which I know, that site enrages a lot of people, but I believe this to be a very true and very real issue. There comes a point with a lot of these bloggers where "no negative comments" becomes "no comments at all that aren't flattering and blowing rainbows up my behind." This really can lead to people being afraid to speak when things go wonky.
ReplyDeleteComment below:
"she had a ton of pull, and was close with trusted bloggers like Roxy from EA (who has since distanced herself from her). add to that the twee and world of sunshine and puppies (“NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS! POSITIVE ENERGY ONLY!”) atmosphere pervading the anthro blogs and the deletion of unflattering/non-complimentary comments from her own posts set this up. honestly, i used to read her last year and there was one fairly constructive comment to the tune of “maybe you can use more pop of color than just wear gray” in one of her posts and then she got upset and said “i think i can wear what i want and i love gray” and all her blogger friends commented “yeah! if you don’t like it go away!”
i think it’s ironic that it took this for many bloggers (see EA and Anthroflux for posts on this) to do some soul-searching and self-examine their approach to constructive criticism on their posts. sometimes a few anthro bloggers (not necessarily the ones listed above, just in general) conflate constructive criticism (and by this i mean, well-meaning comments that don’t personally attack people for their body images, but offer helpful suggestions on things they can change and have control over, ie how to choose flattering silhouettes and/or good grammar, etc) with trolling and jealous haters and all their bloggie friends white-knight rush to their defense and it stifles true discussion. i’m just sick of people conflating any sort of feedback as “you’re fat and jealous” and “you’re a meanie troll!” if i were a blogger, i would want honest feedback, not a bunch of ass-kissers.
in conclusion -> these bloggers and their followers need to learn nuance between “trollling” and “constructive criticism.” because fear of being browbeaten by white knights was a HUGE factor in so many victims being silent."
http://getoffmyinternets.net/2011/09/15/anthroholic-disappears-from-internets/#comments
Would you also consider a blogging post? I'm just a reader, I guess. I'd be very interested.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! I totally don't WANT people to nitpick and criticize (I mean, who actually does?) and there's NOTHING wrong with compliments and being nice and sweet. But the peeps on GOMI had some valid points. Not every outfit is perfect or genius.
ReplyDeleteHeck, every year I go to an open audition where you sing in front of a panel of people and they write down things about you, fold it up, put it in an envelope and mail it to you. Some of these things they write down are incredibly harsh. One time, at a jury in college a professor wrote: "You need to eat more. Score 92". It had NOTHING at all to do with my singing and I've always been pretty skinny. I was totally offended, but you know...LIFE GOES ON. Plus, I had an excuse to temporarily eat more donuts.
Hah! YES! I made you de-lurk! LOL
ReplyDeleteI LURVE Harvest Moon!!!! OMG, obsessed! Do you also play Rune Factory? It's like HM and Zelda got married and had a KICKASS baby! You can farm, marry a girl AND make weapons and fight!! If you get Rune Factory Fontier for Wii, you will never leave your house again.
??? O_o
ReplyDeleteThis story is hilarious. Can something be offensive and hilarious? Well, you have a new fan. Thanks for the measured feedback!
ReplyDeleteWow, that wasn't clear at all. My internet connection is spotty, and it is easier for me to just load a text page. I was responding to a super early comment (not about Harvest Moon!) to a blog post about commercialism and shopping. I live in Boston too, and it definitely is an expensive city.
ReplyDelete(I also meant that I am a quick reader, and that I would personally benefit more from a blog post, but I understand if it is an inconvenience.)
omg that is awesome that you cried XD Love it right back! We are RPG people all the way. Final Fantasy games are the top of our list, though we have played zelda games etc. There is a new ff game coming out at the end of January, so excited for that. Oh yes...I am a cool person ;)
ReplyDeleteThat is so...weird. But yay for donuts!
ReplyDeleteAhh Rune Factory! Harvest Moon! Those were the days :) ... back before 3 kids anyways! I would LOVE to check out the new HM, now to only find some spare time :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for being honest and speaking out on comments in other blogs about anthro bloggers. It is true that not everything looks great in all of us. We need to accept it and move on. People are always going to have some opinion about you. It is up to us not to take it personally and move on. For instance today I posted on a pair of yellow pants that looked awful on me, I admit it! what to do? not wear them again. I will find other things that would actually flatter me. We are not models. We are normal woman experimenting with our style in the public eye nonetheless. I however, do not accept harsh and insulting comments some people are posting even using pictures from bloggers to bash on them. Shame on you! This is cyber bullying pure and simple. I'm sure a lot of you can find a way to express your opinions in a more respectful manner. Stop the hate.
ReplyDeleteI also want to tell you that I love your blog. I never commented before but, I do. I also love the verdant dress on you. I also got it on sale the other day and can't wait to wear it.
belisteaparty@blogspot.com
It's just sad that it only just came out in a huge rush all at once, when it's been months since some people have gotten anything.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should have said something earlier. :(
As a blogger, I can get really sensitive. It's hard not to, unless you aren't the one writing the blog.
ReplyDeleteI tried doing a style blog for a while but when people start criticizing that your leg looks crooked or your breasts look saggy due to the top, it's when you feel kind of sad and hurt.
For the record, I kept the leg :P and the top. I think they look nice, but perhaps it wasn't shown in the best light when I took the photo.
It can be hard when things look great IRL, but not so much in photos.
Yay! Another Boston girl! Do you mean, you'd like a blog post about commercialism and shopping?
ReplyDeleteAmen to that. I have zero kids and I still struggle to find time to get my farm on...
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome! And YES, I didn't touch on it in my post, but a lot of the things that were said in the other forum were pretty hurtful and unnecessary. But C'est La Vie, I guess. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteCrooked legs and saggy breasts? What's wrong with that? ;-)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I know what you mean by being sensitive. And it's REALLY hard to take a decent picture with artificial light.
Amen you your post! And there was some hate (SOME) on the other forum. People LOVE to jump on the pile, I guess that's natural. But I did feel terrible for some of the gals who's pictures were picked on.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the compliment :) The Verdant is great no matter what peeps say about it!
Oh no! Really late reply! If by any chance you do see this, though, I would really love a post about that. I am currently trying to balance an avid interest in shopping and Anthropologie with a reasonable (sort of) budget. I think for most people, dealing with a very 'aspirational' and responsive retail store can get very complicated. I worked briefly at anthropologie (not in sales) and it was startling to see the amount of work as well as the pressure behind the scenes.
ReplyDelete